M O N S T E R
by Butterfly Kitty
Summary: Look at this story to see what ruined my life. Or not. See if I care. Bade romance, Cade friendship, Bori mentions, abuse, abuse, abuse.


**M O N S T E R**

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><p><strong>M<strong>y first memory of my family was my older sister Carrie. She was the only one who loved me. My mom was killed giving birth to me, apparently she lost too much blood or whatever. Carolyne Tessa West had long brown hair and brown eyes, a small body with a huge heart. Soft skin, not a freckle in sight. Whenever my dad went off and got himself drunk and beat me, I'd always go to Carrie. That all changed when my dad's girlfriend Stephanie (who I called "my mom" as a cover-up) came along and Carrie went off to college. I had no protection, so after a beating my best friend was either a razor, a knife of any sort, or a sissor. Normally a sissor. Hammers were my favorite toy because you could bang them on anything. And often I did. I liked to take my anger out as, well, anger, and bang things and insult people. Because people hurt me all the time.

**O**f all the things that happened to me, my least favorite memory is my first beating. I was two. And a half. And according to Carrie, I was a chatty Cathy. On that day, two things clicked. One was that the Wagga-fuffles meant bad news. And number two (to which Cat would scream "Ewwwwwww!" and run out of the room) was the fact that my daddy never loved me. So there you have it. My least favorite memory.

**N**ever eat ice cream. Ever. Whenever I had a nice chocolate ice cream cone or a sweet vanilla ice cream stick at home, I'd be so engrossed in the bliss that my dad would sneak up on me, and that brown or white treat would become red. Blood red. And that didn't taste good, now did it? Also, with a cherry popsicle, it's hard to tell. So I never eat ice cream, especially at home.

**S**ome people love ducks. And bikinis. And talking in a bathroom. But that never was my thing. They all ruined me. Ducks are just horrible, noisy, annoying little creatures. Period. One day, while wearing a bikini, I was at the beach, and this random dude just grabs me, pulls me behind some rocks (they just happened to be the rocks I slipped and fell off of, see the story Jade Dragon for reference), and rapes me because I looked hot in a bikini. That was also the day I happened to be trapped in Beck's stupid RV with Tori, Andre, Robbie, Trina, Beck, and Beck's fish (which have swam in the same dirty water all their lives) when I started sweating. I prefer not to think of that. And talking in the bathroom leads to really bad conversations. And images. I once accidently walked into a public restroom (it was for both genders) and in one stall on the floor to people were at "it". "It"! As in, he's on top of her and they're connected in "that" way! It was wrong.

**T**he fact that no one ever cared just about sums it all up. One day Beck asked me "are you a virgin?" and I obviously said "no." And then he asks "who was your first then?" so I say "a rapist. And so was my second, third, and fourth." And he looked away, mutters something, and refused to cuddle me. I mean, come on! It's not like I'm infected! I mean, sure I almost got pregnant when I was ten, but Cat's mother took me to get it removed!

**E**veryone I ever knew was cruel to me. Except Cat, Carrie, and Beck. And probably my mom if I didn't kill her. Maybe my dad would've turned out different if I hadn't been such a kicker. Beck tells me it wasn't my fault, but sometimes my dad's abuse gets to me and I feel it was on me. I sometimes wish I never had been born at all. Tori stole my best friend Cat (even though she still hangs with me once in a while) and she's trying to steal my boyfriend, like every other girl out there. Lane ruined my life. One time, he pulled me into his office and made me show him the cuts I made on myself from all these years. Tori somehow found out, and told Lane, and he put me into therapy. It was horrible. Everyone was nosing into my personal life, who I was dating, if he was abusive, if I had two parents... so on and so fourth.

**R**emember this. Or not. See if I care.


End file.
